Funny Unicorn Quotes - Woman in a Unicorn Onesie Having Fun

Funny Unicorn Quotes

Do you need a laugh? You have come to the right place. We have some funny unicorn quotes to cheer you up!

Unicorns have the ability to inspire us and make us believe in magic. They have many magical powers including the power to heal us and make us feel better. But unicorns can also make us laugh! Unicorns know how to have fun and play. They don’t take themselves too seriously. Maybe that’s why they have inspired these funny unicorn quotes.

It’s impossible to find the author for most of these unicorn quotes. They are like memes; you can find them all over the internet and social media, but no one knows where they came from in the first place.

Funny Unicorn Quotes

I’m not weird – I’m a unicorn.

My unicorn made me do it.

Sorry, I can’t. I have to walk my unicorn.

So, you got homework you don’t want to do? Your boss gave you an unpleasant task? Your wife/husband/partner/mom asked you to do the dishes, and you just can´t, not right now?

If you’re running out of excuses, why don’t you try this one? It might leave them speechless, at least for a second.

Of course, your boss/teacher/mom/partner might know unicorns won’t usually allow themselves to be kept as pets or in captivity. So, if they are well-informed on unicorns, your explanation might not work. But it’s worth a try, right?

Being a person is getting too complicated. Time to be a unicorn.

You either believe in unicorns or you’re wrong.

My friend told me I was delusional. I nearly fell off my unicorn!

I'm Not Weird - I'm a Unicorn

You’re as sweet as a unicorn fart.

“Thanks, I guess?” This quote is not just funny, it’s also kind of romantic.

Unicorns are awesome. I am awesome. Therefore, I am a unicorn.

Unicorns have great hair, but they’ll always say yours looks better.

My head is full of glitter and unicorns.

Unicorns can’t fly. I can’t fly. Therefore, I’m a unicorn.

Actually, there are some unicorns that can fly, winged unicorns, and pegasi (pegasi are not really unicorns, though). But “regular” unicorns can’t fly. The logic of this unicorn quote allows us all to be unicorns, which is pretty awesome!

´Unicorns are lame´, said nobody ever.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I see a unicorn. A badass unicorn.

I wish I was a unicorn, so I could stab idiots with my head.

My favorite time of the day is when my pills kick in. I love unicorns!

Keep calm and be a unicorn.

Unicorns are real. I am real. Therefore, I am a unicorn.

I Don't Believe in Humans Unicorn

Sorry, I can’t. My unicorn says no.

Sorry I’m late – I saw a unicorn.

I’m friends with the unicorn that lives under my bed.

Sugar is sweet, lemons are tart. I love you more than a unicorn fart.

Aww. Here’s another unicorn quote that manages to be funny and romantic at the same time.

My other horse is a unicorn.

In unicorn we trust.

I don’t believe in humans.

As happy as a unicorn eating cakes on a rainbow.

What Is Your Favorite Funny Unicorn Quote?

I hope you have enjoyed these unicorn quotes. If you know any unicorn quote you like that wasn’t mentioned in this post, feel free to share it in the comment section below! It can be a funny quote, or inspirational, as long as it’s a unicorn quote.

Remember to check our post on inspirational unicorn quotes as well.

Finally, let us know which unicorn quote you liked the most! Have a magical day.


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  1. Loved all the fun quotes. My daughter used to say “it’s so pretty, it’s magical like a unicorn” . She also used to write stories of vain unicorns that loved showing off their beauty. She also loved stories about unicorns. My daughter also said something about unicorns farting out rainbows and it probably smells like sweets. I said to her ” hoomin farts would probably cause the unicorn to faint and go back to their own dimension.” I did an imitation of a fainting unicorn, and she laughed so hard, I had a hard time getting her to fall asleep.